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Carl Hiaasen on efforts to block Florida's new cigarette tax:

"Ellyn Bogdanoff, the Fort Lauderdale Republican who chairs the Finance and Tax Committee in the House ... strongly opposes a cigarette tax because fewer smokers would be bad for business. The woman is dead serious, folks. In particular, Bogdanoff worries about the impact that a cigarette tax would have on convenience stores -- not exactly the bedrock of our economy, but these are the establishments where most young smokers buy their Marlboros and Camels.

''Twenty-two percent of all sales in convenience stores are cigarettes,'' Bogdanoff said. ``We need to look at everything. If they don't go in to buy cigarettes, they don't buy the Coke. They don't buy the chips.''

And if they don't buy the chips, then they don't buy the beef jerky! God help us!"